The things people say about our classic cars

by Paul Sweeney

I recently asked our group members, "What is the most ridiculous comment you have ever heard from a member of the public about your classic?". The response was fantastic - here is a selection of the more amusing responses. My thanks to all the contributors.

A Muggle said, "Oh look, it's a horsebox!" - sent in by Dale Scutter

I had a mechanic who when looking at my Volvo 480 tried to tell me it was the same as the Civic Aerodeck
Steve Hancock

Nice car , shame it’s an MG tho
Nala Reklaw

It will be nice this time next year when it’s finished 
David Bevan

“I like your Vitesse.” “Thank you but it’s a Herald 13/60.” “No it’s definitely a Vitesse. You can tell by the bonnet.”
Mike Peake

Guy looked at the front of my car which has a large union flag with Standard Coventry on the radiator and says to me ‘nice Austin 7’.
Colin Clatworthy

Nice car mate, is it a Ferrari?
Paul Steel

Can we tie our marquee to your Scimitar?
Zachary Marshall

A guy looked at the engine of my V4 Corsair from the side and commented on it being 2 cylinder.
Richard Norton

Mate of mine who was in his 30s was asked if he owned his 1959 MK2 Consul from new
Kevin Zms

If you have a Herald, they had a Vitesse, if you have a Capri, they had the 3 litre special, something else, they had the Ghia and on and on it goes until they get in their little shopping car and go home.
Andy Campbell

A herald - they don’t go round corners though.
Andy Brooker

Why d'you bother driving that old banger?
Ross Adams

Blokes at work... when you going to get a new car ?
My answer- when I’ve worn this one out ! (Triumph 2.5PI .. 31 years and counting)
David Harvey

Is that going to be a classic car when it's finshed?
Leon Guyot

I have two Allegro Vanden Plas, so there is a list, but the most common are;
An All-Aggro
The wheels fall off
If you jack it up the windows fall out
Where's the square steering wheel?

What amazes me is they think its the first time I've heard it and they are being hugely funny.
Andy Perman

 Some people ask, "Why do you drive a Beetle when you got a modern car?" I reply, “Why do people ride horses when they have cars?”.
Their faces drop when two girl dancers get out and I am 70 in January!
John Newbury

Best reaction I had when driving my Magnette through town, an elderly well-dressed gent walking with his wife, stopped and stared, then applauded and said 'bravo' as I drove slowly past.
Steve Favell

You only keep it cos its tax exempt
David Sambrook

It’s got the wrong hub caps
Bill Catherall

I've been asked if my Austin Maxi is American, is it Russian, is it a Lada? The mind boggles.
Kev Sharp

Employee of Ferry company ”Do know your car is dripping oil”... me “when you’re nearly 60 you’ll leak a bit mate”
Graeme Whiting

Driving my Alfa GTV6 into a seaside car park in Cornwall and the attendant saying “you’re the first Ferrari we’ve had in here” 
Howard Godolphin

At a car show I was asked if my 1968 E type had been remapped.
Peter Talbot

How could you do that to a Rover p5?
What a waste of a rover p5.
My eyes, my eyes, this can never be unseen, someone needs to be hung drawn and quartered for doing this to a beautiful rover.
Sacrilege.
That's shocking.
That's awful.
I love it.
I hate it.
Kill me now.
Yada yada yada.
Tony Tosh Brooks

About 20 years ago a committee member of the local vintage car Club said my Hillman Californian would never be a classic. Mmmmmmm.yup!
Ernie Greenwell

Is it a Cortina?
I was in my Triumph Stag with the top down...
David Reason

Driving home from a New Years Eve party with the roof down on my Herald somebody shouted out "Aren't you freezing driving that?" My retort "No just cool"
Paul Girling

I'd drop a 2.0 litre engine in that , do the arches and put some wider wheels on.
John Lonergan

That’s a girl’s car
Korey Craft

They called it a piece of junk.
So I informed them that if I wanted their opinion, I'd beat it out of them.
David Harmon

Someone at a show coming up to me and saying “Nice Zephyr mate”.
I politely explained it was a 1959 Cadillac.
Pete Curran

It doesn't look very rusty
James Butler

Driving home one evening in my black ‘54 Morris Minor, pulled up at some traffic lights and the car I’d noticed had been behind me for the last mile or so pulled up on my right, wound down his passenger window and asked me (in all seriousness); “What make is that car mate, is it an Aston Martin?”
Lee Hallam

How do you drive it without air bags and ABS?
Bruce Jones

My mate was at a petrol station and some youth said look wooden alloys!
Steven Chisnall

Man looks at my 1966 Land Rover and told me it was fantastic to see an ex-WW2 army vehicle being used properly.
(N.B. 1st Land Rover designed 1948...)
Joe Farrow

Had one chap come up to me saying 'I had one of those , it was a Ghia though ' ... 'This is a Vauxhall mate '
'I know , just saying mine was a Ghia ' ...
Zebidee Habib

Can I have a smell...?
Matt Harris

It didnt come out of Dagenham with a CD player in
Ian Woodward

A woman riding in the back of Queenie my 1954 Daimler told her horrified (now adult) daughter sitting beside her, "You were conceived in a car just like this"
Paul Sweeney

Very first outing in my Ford Corsair, it had no badges on as it wasn't quite finished. Someone asked what it was, so I told them, and they replied "Ah a Corsa, didn't know Vauxhall made them that far back!!" and yes they were serious.
Ken Bridges

I had an AA man warn me that my power steering and brakes won’t work with the engine off when pushing my Herald onto my drive.
Mike Peake

"Lovely car, is this the one with the 2.7 V6?" - standing next to my Rover P6B ("3500" badges on both front wings and bootlid, "V8" badge on grille and bootlid)
David Beadle

So its a TR7 - asked someone about my TVR 400SE
Ian Shippen

I went to look at an A40 Farina which was rotten
The seller said " You won't find a better one!"
My reply " You better look at mine parked around the corner '
James McLernon

My elderly father saw my Morris minor for the first time and said " it's so modern looking"
Rob Earwicker

My Cortina Savage estate was on stand at the NEC...Chap comes over and tells me that Raceprooved only ever built one estate Savage....I replied that the other one I had at home must be a replica....
Jack Major

Some youths as I was driving up a residential street in Plymouth- "Your car's old as f*** mate!". Didn't really have much of a comeback to that...
Matt Fowles

 Rear windows on those pop out when you jack it up
They were banned from the Blackwall Tunnel
Rear wheels fall off on those
​Has it got a square steering wheel?
George Beresford

I own a taxi, always roll my eyes when I'm asked if it's fake.
Roy Coker

You should keep that in a garage, you’ll wear it out if you use it.
Mitch Crancher

"Did you buy it new?“ to the twenty year old me driving a thirty year old Herald.
Andrew Spittlehouse

My sister once asked me if everything was ok? Was I struggling?
When I asked her why the concern? She said it was because I always seem to be driving the oldest car in the car park.
Nick Arthur

CEO of a well-known construction company crashed into my Morris Traveller while he was queue-jumping in his Audi (of course) last year; during the rather heated exchanges afterwards he claimed it was my fault for 'driving a stupid small car' and he was 'glad he crashed into it'!
Toby Bruce

I went to the local shops in my classic Jag and parked next to the little coffee shop. There was a cosy group of 50-something ladies supping their lattés. One leaned over the railing and said 'I suppose you think this is your chick magnet'. I was surprised as I am of similar classic car age and said that if it is, then it's not working, but maybe it's finally starting with you today. I didn't continue the dialogue. I have standards
Peter Lloyd

When I broke down in my Vitesse, a woman passer by said she didn’t know a bra company made cars
Edward McNab

A guy told me the correct vinyl roof and steering wheel on my MK4 Cortina were wrong and totally missed the MK5 seats and Capri wheels!
Richard Norton

An "enthusiast" at a show here in Australia that insisted my MG RV8 was an MGC, completely ignoring the difference between a straight 6 and a V8 ! and then argued with me
Steve Hodgson

I've got a 1955 Norton Model 19R.
At one of the rally's I went to, a man came up to me and said: "Young man, I once owned a BMW like yours, when I was your age!"
Lewis Williams

Is that a Jensen Interpreter?
Mark Rivron

Telling me my Maxi should be lowered!
Peter Thomson

All of us Singer owners are continually asked 'what's the connection with the sewing machines then?'
John Hadfield

 "Why are you getting so irate, it's only an old car" by an er "elderly person" who'd just reversed into the front of my just rebuilt Spitfire 1500 outside my office.....
Simon Stock

“Did they really make them to look like that from new?” Ford Squire.
Allan Broadbridge

"What is it mate?" - "A Morgan" - "No, I would recognise a Morgan, seriously, what kit is it?" "No, really, it's a 1954 Morgan." "No, listen Mate. Morgans never made 4 seaters and are not that old" "What do you think it is then?" "Dunno, some kind of kit, that's why I asked YOU!"
Guy Loveridge

While studying the badge on the grill. "What car is it?" 'A Morris 1800.' "Is it like a Morris Minor?" 'No! More like an 1800!' "What engine's in it?" '1800' "So what is it?" 'It's a Morris 1800.' "So what kind of car is it?" 'A family saloon car.' "Is it a Morris Minor?" 'No! It's an 1800!' Walks away clearly dissatisfied.
Jacob Theunissen