Enthusiasts in the Forest of Dean – Fatbloke and Poppy Pt 67

By Mike Peake

'​Well that seemed a very long winter didn’t it? However, we are BACK! It was time to meet up with good friends and great cars again and our group of intrepid enthusiast was heading for the Inn on the Wye which was to be our base camp for our weekend’s exploration of the Forest of Dean.
 
Let’s back up a bit though and start on Thursday 24th February. I’d originally booked this day off work as I’d promised Mrs FB a trip to the Caravan and Motorhome show at the NEC. This trip had to be abandoned though as a new acquisition was heading my way and delivery was due on the Thursday. Mrs FB hid her disappointment almost as well as my bruises were hidden. I’m saving that tale for another blog though.
 
All this meant that I had time to fettle Poppy and get her ready for our trip. This mainly consisted of changing the brake light switch mounted above the brake pedal. A simple easy fix I thought, but no. The old broken one came off easily enough and then it was just a matter of pushing the new one through the hole in the bracket, making sure the flat edges lined up and then fitting the washer and tightening up the nut on the other side of the bracket fixing the switch into place. See? Easy! I spent HOURS, and I mean HOURS fiddling with it. I was quite nervous about cross threading the nut and destroying the plastic thread on the switch and therefore could not get the nut lined up correctly. 4 hours of fiddling, false starts, dropped washers, nuts and switches later, including a call to my local garage to see if they could fit it in (they couldn’t), I was no closer to success and getting quite frustrated. So I stopped for lunch and a think. The break also coincided with a sudden snow shower. It would appear that our resident Rain Man Gar Cole was releasing the usual tour weather gods early.
 
In the end, I undid the pedal linkage to the master cylinder which meant that the pedal travelled further and gave me more room behind the bracket. It worked! 10 minutes after finishing lunch, the switch was successfully in place and I had working brake lights again. I even remembered to reassemble the linkage BEFORE I had any embarrassing or expensive moments.
 
The rest of the fettling involved nothing more than checking fluid levels and tyre pressures. It being a “not camping” weekend meant that all I had to do now was pack my overnight bag for 2 nights and I would be ready to leave straight after work on Friday. Mrs FB had said that she wasn’t coming as it was “far too 'Winter' for mucking about in a convertible car with no heater.”

​As I came out of my home office spot on knocking off time on Friday, ready to head off down the green lanes, Mrs FB announced a change of plan. She’d looked at the weather forecast and decided that it wasn’t that much “winter” after all and that she was coming with me.
 
I was so pleased to hear this and didn’t mind in the slightest the wait while every hat, coat, jumper, blanket and hot water bottle in the house, as well as outfits for if it’s cold and for if it’s not and more for if it rains, was loaded into Poppy, filling the boot, back seat and floor well to the brim.
 
Eventually though, with Mrs FB sat in the passenger seat, buried under further coats, blankets and hot water bottles, we headed for the hotel a mere one and a half hour’s drive away. Positively local to us for one of our tours.
 
After checking into our luxurious “not camping” abode we all gathered in the restaurant where the serious business of the tour could begin. By that I mean drinking, eating, drinking, laughing, drinking and shenanigans.

Look Phil! we had Pie!

​The occasion of the tour was the 45th birthday of our lovable Fat Controller of events Gar Cole which happened to be on the Friday evening. Gifts, cards and birthday cake were presented along with the traditional rendition “Happy birthday to you”. As you can see from the video, Gar was so clearly squirming with embarrassment as a result of being the centre of attention for the entire pub, that we had to sing to him at least 17 more times that evening.

​All this singing had a strange effect on Nick Arthur. You could see the feeling come up over him like a tidal wave until he could resist no more and in a surprisingly strong clear voice, broke into a song of his own. To say we were all surprised is an understatement. Though none as surprised as Nick I dare say. We were so surprised that it took us a few seconds to tune into the lyrics of his chosen ditty, but when we did, our surprise changed to shock! You see Nick had chosen to sing a traditional English folk song rarely  heard outside of a rugby club on a Saturday evening and had something to do with candles and wicks and stuff. I didn’t understand it myself but others seemed to find it uproariously funny. I have the whole thing on video, but as it seems to break every group rule I don’t think I can share it here. However, I will happily share it with anyone on the payment of £10 to my PayPal account. Unless that is, Nick wants to come to his own arrangement with me? That nice brown XJ Jaguar for instance?
 
Sensibly and soberly, of course, we all retired to our beds early to be refreshed and ready for the tour in the morning.
 
Strangely, Saturday dawned as one of those bright, sunny but cold winter days with no sign at all of the apocalyptic weather that normally accompanies our tours. A clear sign that Rain Man Gar was off his game. So, before we set off, let me introduce you to the gang and their cars.

Gar Cole's Triumph 2000 Mk2

Nick Arthur's Jensen Interceptor

Dennis Weatherill's TR4A

Andy Perman's Vanden Plas

Pat Osborne's Rover 100

Biscuit Adam's Humber Sceptre

John Dixon's Austin Cambridge

Clive Bishop's Jensen Interceptor

Ray Prichard's XJ Jaguar

Lincoln Hunt's Range Rover used to belong to the Royal Family

Shane Portman's Wolseley 1500

My Triumph Herald 13/60

Aw bless. A little boy pretending to fix Dad's car. How cute. (Paul Cheetham)

The 1st leg of the tour took us to the town of Monmouth via some charming green lanes. I’ve driven through Monmouth on the A40 many a time but have never stopped there until now but it really is a lovely little town. I was particularly interested in the medieval bridge across the wye. It is the last surviving fortified bridge in the country.

​It was built in 1270 in order to defend the town against the marauding and savage Welsh tribesmen who liked nothing more than popping over the River Wye and raiding for a few head of English cattle. I was all for climbing the tower immediately to see if I could shoot a few Welshmen of my own but Gar was having none of it and bodily blocked the only entrance to the upper floors of the tower.

None shall pass!

See Gar? that's where I could have shot arrows at Welsmen from.

​As disappointed as I was, I could understand Gar’s actions as he was the only one there with known Welsh ancestry. I’m not sure that his actions were entirely necessary though, as that door doesn’t look like it was built with Fatblokes in mind.
 
I was quite excited about the next legs of the tour as they would be taking in a couple of old ruins.

​No! Not Windy and Bernard! I’ve no idea how that photo got in here. The ruins we were going to see were Raglan Castle and Tintern Abbey.
 
The 1st leg to Monmouth had gone extremely well with no one getting separated or lost on the way. I knew it couldn’t last and it didn’t. Having left the Monmouth car park with kind motorists giving way so as not to separate the convoy, the convoy separated like a starburst in a myriad of different directions as soon as we hit the 1st major junction with each breakaway convoy getting smaller at each subsequent junction until there was just Poppy and Lincoln’s Royal Ranger Rover left.

Gar’s instructions were to drive through Rockfield and Llantillo using the B4223. However, after leaving Rockfield and not seeing a single sign to Llantillo, we lost confidence in Gar’s directions and pulled over to consult the SatNav. Which didn’t have a signal. Fortunately, The Royal SatNav in Lincolns Royal Range Rover clearly had access to a network of secret squirrel satellites not available to hoi poloi like me and a route was plotted and we turned around and headed off. Unfortunately, the Royal SatNav showed a marked disdain for metalled road surfaces. Probably because it was on board a Royal Range Rover 4x4 it took a route bereft of what anyone would call proper roads leaving Poppy to bounce, rattle and ground in the Royal wake. ​

​We finally made it to Raglan Castle only to find it devoid of any other classic car enthusiasts. Had we taken so long that they had been and gone without us? No. They wouldn’t do that would they? It turned out that the Royal cross country route was a rather effective short cut and we were actually the 1st to arrive. After a short wait the main convoy of classics, having continued on the road we lost confidence in, turned up.

​Chats were had, photos were taken, Raglan Castle was oohed and aahed at and Mrs FB got cold so we all headed for the Wild Hare at Tintern to fill up with food and warmth and to meet up with the remaining stragglers who had elected to skip the castle and go straight to the pub.
 
Hunger pangs sated, and bodies defrosted, it was time to leave the pub. The plan was to walk down to the Abbey for a look around but it was cold and we could see it from the car park. So, having seen the Abbey we headed off for the final stop of the tour.

You're going the wrong way! Oh Sorry, not with us. Nice car though.

I was allowed to put the roof down for this leg.

​The Perrygrove steam forest railway. Who doesn’t love a steam engine? The train set we were going to play with was a rather fine narrow gauge one and I have to say, I now want a bigger back garden so I can have a train set just like it.
 
The convoy managed to hold together and we arrived at the railway only to be told we’d missed the last run. Well I’m not ashamed to say that my bottom lip was trembling with disappointment at this announcement and I wasn’t the only one. I think the ticket office girl noticed this, and not wanting to see 15 grown men cry, she went off the see if the driver would do one more run just for us. On the news that he would, 15 grown men suddenly turned into 15 excited little boys as we rushed for the platform gripping our tickets.

As soon as the train was in, I made a beeline for the best seat on the train, right next to the engine so I could be up close to all the noises smells and sights of a working steam engine. We settled in and got comfy only to watch the engine uncouple and head for the other end of the train. I might have sulked a bit, but only until we got to the halfway point of the ride when the engine came back to our end and I was able to fully enjoy the ride back to the station.

That wasn’t the end of the experience though. The owners allowed us all back to the engine shed to see their other engines and watch as the put the last one to bed for the night..

Did you know that steam engines have to be winded before the go to bed? It’s true. They do. They have to break wind in order to release the last of the pressure as it would be dangerous to hang onto it all night. Yes indeed. Much like Windy Woodward has to before he goes to bed too. As the finger lever is pulled, the noise of the escaping billowing cloud of vapour is mightily impressive, but so is that from the steam engine and with a much nicer fragrance.
 
Make sure your sound is on for the following video. Don’t worry. It’s of the steam engine, not Windy Woodward

​That just left an enjoyable drive back to the hotel for another night of frivolity and laughter before a hearty breakfast and morning departure back to my new acquisition that I had been so rudely torn away from mere hours after her arrival. No. you’ll have to await my next blog for those details. Oh go on then. Here’s a clue.

​What a fantastic start to the 2022 season with the usual massive thanks to Gar Cole for organising yet another great weekend and thanks to everyone else there for making it so much fun. My face has only just stopped hurting from all the laughter.
 
See you at the NEC for the restoration show. Gar has got a fantastic stand planned. Our best yet so don’t miss it. As a member of this group you get discounted tickets and free cake too.

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