Driving test stories

from Admin

We asked our members to share memories of their driving tests and the responses were so much fun, we've collected them all here for you to enjoy.

1974 in a Ford Anglia. I was told by the examiner to use hand signals and do a three point turn. All went fine until further down the road he told my to turn right at the junction, I put on the indicator, then he said we are still using hand signals, so I put my right arm straight out of the window and left arm through the centre of the steering wheel to turn the indicator off.
Incorrect use of the controls.
Max Carman😞

Had a Morgan 3 wheeler for my 16th birthday in '62. Went for test, it was raining. No doors on the Morgan but a working hood easy hinge up and down and 3 press studs holding to the windscreen frame, no sidescreens and hood needed to be lowered to get in and out.

Test inspector was a large man, very large. Did the eye sight test, went to the miniscule car, lowered the hood (seats not too wet) inspector shoe-horned himself in.

Oh, by the way, had no starter motor so had to hand crank which meant retarding ignition by the lever on the steering wheel, turning off ignition, back to the front to turn the enine to the compression point, back to the cockpit to switch on ignition, back to the front and sharp pull up of the starting handle with thumb tucked away safely in casd of backfire and removal of thumb and possibly other parts of anatomy depending on trajectory of flying handle.

If you got the hand throttle and choke settings just right it may start or it's back and fore adjusting until success then dashing back to the cockpit, throwing the starting handle onto the floor, advancing ignition, blipping the throttle and adjusting the choke - both also hand operated levers mounted on the steering wheel - to keep it running, climbing in and pulling the hood over the now soggy inspector.

​Set off, the one vacuum-operated wiper scraping feebly away at my aeroscreen. So far so good! But, following instructions about 2 minutes later we arrived at an uphill tee-junction to turn right onto a main road - yes, you guessed, in my nervous condition I stalled and had to go through the starting procedure all over again!

I actually persuaded the inspector to switch the ignition on and off to save time while the traffic built up behind. After that it all went swimmingly, especially the inspector sitting in a pool of rainwater.

Never really understood why I failed but he certainly didn't mention any of the above!
Owen Short

A neighbour when making the 3 point turn did the first part and turned the car across the road. Then when she tried to engage reverse which was up to the left and lift, the gear stick came off in her hand.

The test was abandoned with the car left in the middle of the road.
Tony Dixon

I took my test in 79 in my own car, a 59 Morris Mini. It didn't have seat belts and the front seats were just the tip up and down variety (no locking).

I won't go into the finer details but you can imagine what happened to my instructor when he banged his clipboard on the dash to signal my emergency brake attempt. Squished against the inside of the windscreen and then a crumpled heap in the foot well.

Being a a proper old school fellow he dusted himself off and told me to return to the test centre immediately. You can't comprehend my delight when he handed me my pass certificate and wished me a happy life of motoring.
Nick Mead

When i took my HGV Lorry test I arrived at the test centre in a different lorry that had been booked with them. The first part of test was the reverse manoeuvre and I couldn’t do it.

When the examiner checked his paperwork the lorry I was driving was 3 metres longer!
😬
He reset the cones further apart and I did it first time no issues, except I was a bag of nerves and failed on lots of minor issues!

2nd time around I passed no issues, but I did check I was booked in with the correct size lorry first
Jonathan Griffiths

I didn't fail, but during my test in Clifton, Bristol in May 1975, I turned into a very narrow side street to be confronted by a Rolls-Royce completely blocking the street as it attempted a 3-point turn right in front of me.

The poor driver was heaving and straining on the steering wheel - it took him so many "back and forths", I had put my Mini into neutral with the handbrake on long before the Roller finally drove away.

The test examiner sat in silence the entire time, simply murmuring, "Well done" as I was at last able to continue my test.
Paul Sweeney

I passed my test first time in 1971, in Slough. I had a practice lesson with my instructor, a sexist old boy who had a constant eye on the young ladies as I drove past them rather than what I was doing, and took the test in his Austin 1300. Having a decent car helped. On arrival at the test centre I was told to stay in the car and the examiner would come out to me.

I did that which was necessary and on return to the test centre i was told that I had passed. I was to stay put and my instructor would come out to me.

The instructor came out and asked if I had passed. Yes, I responded. He then told me that there were 4 females taking their test at the same time. They all failed, demonstrating that males are better drivers than females. I dare not shout that too loud in most environments!
Anthony Osborne

Failed my first test for laughing at the examiner. He was a known miserable old sod. Anyway, midway through my three-point turn the little rear view mirror used by the instructor fell off. It his the right knee of the examiner and he made a right old fuss - you’d have though he’d been hit by an axe. I laughed at him - which was in hindsight a mistake. 
Alex Valvasurra😣

My mother drove lots of things during the war (ambulances, buses, mobile operating theatres, etc) but didn't take a test. She didn't renew her licence post-war as the family didn't have a car.

Fast forward to about 1970. She decides to drive again and after a few 'test drives' in the old man's Zodiac (where he said she appeared to drive as though she had a bell on the front of the car) she books a test.

Come the test day she cruises round the circuit and the rather familiar looking examiner hands her a Pass certificate. She looks at it and sees his name: he is a guy who partnered her in the ambulance on occasions during the war, and who never drove except for one occasion when she needed to be in the back of the ambulance!

When they eventually arrived at the hospital he apologised for the slow journey as he had only ever driven a traction engine before and didn't know about changing gear! 
Mick Brabrook-Norman🤣

Lad at work was taking his HGV test. After waiting to pull away out of the test centre,he saw a gap,let his foot off the clutch,........in reverse!
Michael Foster🤪

Failed first time in 2015, was queuing for a roundabout stationary in the right lane while a car was inching forward in the left lane a bit too close and scraped my left wing mirror. Any contact regardless of fault is a fail!
Peter Walker

I failed in a Morris Minor with a fierce clutch and stalled it on an uphill start. I was told I failed not because of the stall but I just dipped clutch fired it up and set off holding it on foot brake heel and toe - I should have put handbrake on put it in neutral and started from scratch.
Richard Shaw

Passed my bike and car tests first time and whilst I know that's not the point of the thread, I just wanted you to know 😂😂
I do have a funny story; my late aunt took her test (many years ago) and the examiner near the end said, "You know where you are now then?" (being a local lass) she replied "No, I've had my eyes shut"... i don't actually know whether she passed or not...
Steve Broughton

I was a distracted mess on my test after the examiner got in the car as she was stunningly attractive and wearing a fashionably short skirt; not at all what a hormone-addled 17 year old needs!

I ended up speeding in a 30 zone and completely fluffed the sign recognition questions, so it came as something of a surprise when she handed me my pass certificate!
Andrew Spittlehouse

I failed my driving test after being put in a car I'd never driven. My driving instructor - an ex-Brooklands racing driver, Police driving instructor and Jaguar test driver - age 82, had rolled his Escort on the way to get me for my test practice.

I ended up being driven in a spare car at high speed straight to the test centre without practice beforehand!
Andy Jones